In four weeks our sweet baby girl is due to make her appearance. When that happens I feel like the dynamic of our little white house is most definitely going to change!

Let me explain.

When we found out that I was expecting and Gram passed away the entire time I just felt like I was going to have a girl. They call it intuition. I was right but you know-not bragging about that ;)

At the same time Jason was convinced that is was a boy. Until a few days before we were going to have the gender ultrasound.

I was puttering around the house and all the sudden out of the blue Jason turns to me and quietly says: "I think it is going to be a girl."

I asked him why and his reply was: "Well, we know what to do with boys I think God is going to mix things up."

And he was right!

I feel very comfortable with boys. Boys are pretty easy at this point. Yes, their energy makes me want to go hide and eat chocolate on a regular basis  occasionally but other than that-we have setttled into our boy filled home with not too much issue.

Over the last few weeks I have really started to realize that our little world is about to be turned upside down in a very exciting but somewhat terrifying way.

Enter our baby girl.

So I have been preparing the boys and they are so very excited for their baby but it has definitely made me stop and think about some things.

Like the fact that they will someday (Lord willing) have wives and daughters of their own. How am I going to train them to treat women in general? And that every day is training and teaching them in some way to grow to be Godly young men that love and serve others.

So I have been challenged-I realized I am teaching them even when I don't say a word.

And yes-that thought scares me! Why? Well-I am FAR from perfect or even far from being anywhere near perfect when it comes to my mothering.

Then I came across the following quote:


Is that not the most beautiful thing you have read lately? Forget trying to be perfect and pinterest worthy in everything I do.

Just love.

So that is my new goal: love my boys. Love my husband. Love my baby girl. Love those around me. Love my God.

Yes, things are going to change when Clara decides to make her appearance!

Yes, there are days where I do not love the way I need to.

Yes, I serve a God that I can lean on for help on the days I just do not know what to do. Because with His help all things are possible!!

And when I start thinking about that-all the sudden raising my boys does not seem like such a scary and impossible thing!

I love this picture! We were going on a hike in a town near us and I looked up and saw them walking hand in hand and I just knew I needed to capture it. To hold onto and cherish that memory.

That is something that has been coming up a lot in the last few weeks. Maybe it is because Elijah is potty trained fully now.

Maybe it is because Micah will be two years old on December 14th.

Maybe it is because of moments like when I was playing piano on Sunday and I looked up to see Micah smiling at me. In that moment my heart jumped because I realized how he is starting to look more and more like a toddler instead of a baby.

Cherish these moments.

So then today I found this picture on facebook and it absolutely stopped me in my tracks:



 So often in this world it is so easy to get caught up in the busyness of life. I smile as I write that because I know as the years go on and my boys get older it will get even busier!

So why is it so easy for me to not cherish moments? To continue to do whatever on social media instead of reading them a story.

To want to go watch that chick flick because it is their bedtime and I just want a break but wait-they want another story?

It is easier alot of the time to be selfish.

There I said it.

To put my needs before theirs.

The sad thing is that this season will pass and then what happens?


Someday-sooner then I want to admit-my boys will be 17 and 16 instead of three and two. These precious fleeting moments when they need me in that special way that littles need their Mama-this too shall pass.

So what am I doing in the meantime?

And that is when a new resolve was born. When I realized that my boys will not be with me forever.

When I realized that someday I will need to let them go...


Cherish the moments. Treasure this time. Make memories. Remember that even though this season seems to be never ending with the messes and diapers and exhaustion and sleeplessness-it will be over one day.

That day will come sooner then I care to admit.


Perspective. So often it is easy to see a nuisance or the inconvenience of having to slow down when really it should be seen as an opportunity to grow and teach.

A memory can be either good or bad.

Cherished or tossed to the side.


So my new goal? To wake up every morning and praise God for those two sweet little faces. And then in the exhaustion and mundane of life to be thankful.

Thankful for my precious boys.

Thankful for life itself.

Thankful to be able to pour into my children.

Thankful for the funny things that come out of their mouths.

Thankful for their love for me.

Thankful for another day to cherish and make memories.

Thankful for another day to be with them.

So what about you? Do you ever have a day where you are just so exhausted there is no end in sight? Motherhood is tough! But it also changes with each new season of life. What are some little things that you can look to cherish in the moment?

It is hard to believe that it has almost been a year since I last wrote on this blog. Since I opened my computer and the words just seemed to flow.

Have you ever had a season in your life where you just did not have words?

Where you were just treading water and trying to keep your head up?

Where you came face to face with so many inner demons that is seemed to completely overwhelm you?

Where getting up took courage?

Where you tried to escape reality but went to the wrong things?

Where loved ones died and you were left reeling?

Where things happened in your extended family that left you thinking that reality was really not happening because-that stuff only happens in soap operas which you don't watch anyway?

It has just been that kind of year. But you know what? God has been using it to draw me back to Himself.

Because what are you supposed to do when you keep turning to food or media or people and yet you refuse to turn to the One Who could actually help you?

Did I mention it takes me awhile to learn lessons?

Yeah.

And then when you reach the end of your rope and the Lord gives you this verse:


How beautiful is that?

My life is a busy mess right now. I have these two precious boys that are just 19 months apart and they are mess making machines!

I will clean my house and then in one hour it can be destroyed.

I am not kidding ask any mother of young children.

It can be disheartening.

But I am realizing more recently that it is a beautiful mess and one that will not last forever.

This is a season and it will not last forever it will end.

I will have a clean house-but it will seem empty.

I will have time to myself-but the house will seem so lonely.

I will be able to sleep through the night-but I will not have little arms wrapped around my neck.

This too shall pass-all to soon.

Lately I have been asking myself-what will happen when this crazy, messy, exhausting yet beautiful mess ends?

Then the next question is what am I supposed to do in the meantime?

The truth?

I can't do it as I have done a very good job of proving over the last year.

But I serve a God Who loves to take the seemingly impossible and all the sudden make it possible.

In a very beautiful and gentle way-because that is Who our God is.

"...He gently leads those with young."

That almost makes me tear up. What a wonderful God that we serve. One that loves us right where we are.

One that is willing to accepts us right where we are.

So I am going to start breathing again.

And in the moments where I feel like I can not breath I will be turning to my Savior for help. Because He is willing all I have to do it reach out for help.

And I know that He will help-because He delights in His children. He carries us close to His heart.

He gently leads those with young.

So how about you? How has your last year been? I would love to hear about it!

Do you have a lesson that the Lord has been teaching you lately?

We were thrilled when we found out that a second boy! Two times everything. Two times the children. Two times the joy. Two times the hugs and kisses. Two times the love.

While I have found that to be very true over the past almost seven months I have also found that there are a lot of other things that multiply by two.



Two times the exhaustion. Two times the stress. Two times the needs. Two times the training needed. Two times the exasperation. Two times the mess. Two times the tears.

And yet-I look at those two faces smiling up at me and my heart melts. For years my hearts desire was to be a wife and Mama and truly the Lord has given me the desire of my heart.

Is it the perfection that I thought it would be? Absolutely not!

Is every difficult moment worth it when those chubby arms wrap themselves around my neck and little fingers reach for my hair? Absolutely.

Perfection-something I seem to see all around me on Facebook, pinterest, blogs and instagram. I look and I compare and I grow discontent and lies begin to fester in my mind.

Just an example:

Lie: Well, her house is absolutely perfect all the time and no matter what I do I just can NOT catch up on mine-I am a failure.

Truth: Yes, her house may SEEM perfect all the time but I am sure there are times when it really is not perfect and who knows maybe she has children that are above two and can help do chores in a bigger capacity.

So, I struggle with keeping my house clean BUT I have been really working hard on DE cluttering and re-organizing and making sure that everything has its very own place. I am not there yet but Lord willing I will continue to grow and learn as time goes on.


I am realizing that life has many different seasons. This season of (still) adjusting to two sweet baby boys is hard and exhausting and leaves me in tears many times and YET-seasons change and I know that all too soon this season will be over and done and I will be missing these precious moments with my baby boys.

I can not do this with out the Lord. So many days so many things seem so absolutely impossible and yet I serve the God Who NOTHING is impossible for.

I am realizing that I need to turn to Him a little bit more and learn to rely on Him not week by week or day by day but moment by moment. Each and everyday looking to him for the strength to make an eternal difference in the life of my precious little boys.

Moment by moment with Jesus by my side seems a lot more doable then days and weeks and months without Him.