Do you ever feel like all you ever do is fall?

11:07 AM


It had been a long stressful day, Jason came home sick with a fever and went straight to bed. The boys seemed to be getting into and destroying everything they possibly could. I was tired. I was stressed. Did I mention I was super stressed? I put Micah to bed at 6:30 pm. I sent Elijah to my sister's for a fun sleep over. For the first time in....a really really long time-I was alone. I did not have little people needing me. Jason was asleep so he didn't need me. Gram was asleep so she didn't need me. I was alone...

So I got ice cream. Fudge brownie and cookie dough put together in one delicious mixture. And I ate it.

All.

So you know that whole coach thing...the challenge pack I have coming in the mail? Well, my logic was "I haven't started yet so one last hurrah."

Except it wasn't really that much of a hurrah. 

I felt like I had a void to fill and there was nothing to fill it! Ice cream didn't help and neither did the multiple hallmark movies and face book browsing.

I felt even more empty except now I felt guilty too!

Then I was reminded that it is not the failure or the fall it is what we choose to do with it. Will we let it stop us in our tracks before we even truly start or will we get up and keep pressing forward?

I was musing over this when I crawled into bed sometime after 12:30am and I FINALLY decided to see if the Lord had anything for me (why do I always wait till last to turn to HIM?!?) and as I opened my "Streams in the Desert" a  folded piece of paper fell out.

I opened it and whew-talk about a gentle rebuke! It was a quote a friend had said many many years ago:

"The closer we are to God the farther we are from sin. The closer we are to sin the farther we are from God."

Ouch.

Thoughts like these flashed through my mind:

Oh hey, Katy, ever since deciding to be a Beachbody coach and share your journey to a healthier lifestyle all you have been thinking about is you and God has not even been in the picture.

Why have you been stupid enough to yet again try to do all these life changes on your own without the Lord? You know how that always works out.

Gulp. 

I had some forgiveness to be asking from the Lord that was for sure! 

But then what? 

I struggle so much in my addiction to food. 

That is real life right now.

The problem is that so often I CHOOSE to struggle alone and believe the lies that there is no one out there that truly understands and God doesn't really care about my struggle with food!

But He does.

That is the truth.

Jesus WANTS to heal me from my addiction to turning to food for satisfaction. He says so!! 


So why don't I turn to Him first? Why do I choose to listen to the lies that food and movies and TV will satisfy when all they do is leave me more empty? 

I will be tackling that in my personal devotion time over the next few weeks. I recently did a post that tackled so many lies that I had believed for years and the scriptures that have been helping me believe the truth of Who God has made me to be. 

I think I will be doing the same thing in regards to the lies I believe about food (it will satisfy me, it will help me not be so stressed or lonely or whatever emotion I am feeling at the moment).

So there you go. The real me falls and all.

I haven't even started this 21 day fix journey yet (still waiting for my challenge pack) but I just wanted to share some of the issues I have had since deciding to change my lifestyle. 

The difference between now and so many other times in the past when I just gave up?

By God's grace-I am not going to quit before I even had a chance to start. My Jesus wants to set the captives free and I am so thankful that includes me!

So what about you? Do you turn to certain things when you are feeling stressed? Is it hard for you to get back up once you have fallen?

I just put a poll on the sidebar regarding new content on my blog and just want to see what you, my amazing readers, would like to see more of as I embark on this fitness journey so please let me know :)





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6 Thoughts

  1. ME. One of the biggest traps of this age I think. Me takes number one spot ALL the time. As Christians we can get NO help from anyone outside of Christ for this. We MUST look to Him - and not be like Peter who looked at the waves and started to sink, but keep just looking at Him NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!
    in Him
    Betsy
    P.S. Sorry about so much on caps, but I felt it made it stand out - this is a very important thing...

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    1. No it is totally needed to stand out!! :) It is so so true we can not do it without CHrist!! Absolutely :)

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  2. I've been trying to figure out what to tell you for a while now. Read all your posts on food problems.
    Well, I have had a major sugar problem (chips, nuts & co never really my thing), whether it be chocolate or sugared sodas and whatnot. I ate a pack of chocolate a day (well, let's be honest here, most days I had more than that). What helped me quit was a bunch of things.
    First off, just don't buy it. Don't even buy one tiny little pack. If you're going to have guests over, tell them you ran out and ask them if they could bring something (pay for it too), or buy it the same day you're going to need it. NEVER buy in advance - I always ate that and had to buy more. That helped me a great deal. You're not going to get in the car at 10PM and buy something.
    Second, if you can and have to, replace with sweet fruit first. Pinapple cuts, peaches, whatever you like. I find that when you crave sugar, you really just want your mouth to be busy. so that can help to wean you off.
    Third, always remember: You don't need food like that. You've probably eaten 3 meals already that day. Try to remind yourself that your body is fooling you. It doesn't need anything, it's just a big liar. Don't be a slave to your flesh, don't let it make you one!

    I remember the first 4 weeks were the worst. It's really like quitting a drug. Maybe talk to jason about it too, ask him to help you. I can tell you from experience that quitting food makes you very emotional and difficult. Ask him to support you and help you through that time. Maybe it can also help you to mark your abstinence days in the calendar (don't you love checking lists?! hehe).
    Unfortunately, I personally feel like if I eat one tiny little candy, I'll fall right back full force, so I still keep away from everything sweet. But I'm at 8 months with no sugary drink and no candy right now, so I'm very happy and I'm feeling much better.
    Also, the weight loss: Don't check your weight every day. That takes time. Maybe limit it to once every two weeks or once a month even. And don't be upset if the numbers don't satisfy you.

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    1. Thank you so very much for sharing it really encouraged me! I SO agree with you on the not buying. Like seriously, if it is there I feel like I have to eat it up because well once it is gone I won't struggle with it so just eat it up fast. Weird logic I know!
      I am going to be doing fruits daily and I really don't like eating fruit just plain (again weird I know lol) but I am going to be getting my daily allotment in a smoothie and I am actually really excited about that!
      Tomorrow I start the 21 days officially and whew...you are right it will be like quitting a drug (I have been trying to wean myself off this week and yeah...) and I will def talk to Jason.
      Good for you for EIGHT MONTHS! WOw what an inspiration! :) If you can do it I can :)
      Blessings!
      Katy

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    2. Tell me about the plain fruit LOL. I struggle with that too! and let's be honest, some of the fruit you buy these days simply taste like wet sponges... no taste at all! not exactly what I want to satisfy my sweet tooth lol
      Smoothies are a great idea, I haven't even thought about that! That way you also get more flavor diversity! Thanks for pointing that out, I'll do that too!
      Katy, I'm sure you will do fine. And never forget: Everyone has a bad day. If you fall, stand up again. We all fall, you're not alone, and I'm definately around to cheer for you in case you need support!
      Blessings!

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    3. Thank you so so much! :) Blessings!

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