Have you ever been through a time in your life where you are just weary? Weary of trying and yet still being judged. Weary of ministering. Weary of not living up to the standard you feel you need to live up to? Weary of giving in to things that you know the Lord wants you to give up in order to spend more time with Him?
Weary.
I think that we all get weary.
But what do we do with that weariness? I find myself so often go to anything but the place that I KNOW I will find rest. People. Things. Activities.
Anything but Jesus.
I was reminded of that tonight as I was having a time of sweet fellowship with another women and she took my problem and discouragement-straight to Jesus in prayer.
I was reminded how I have not been going to Him for comfort but rather the internet (where I stay in contact with so many people that are so encouraging) which ,in and of itself, is not a bad thing but when it is priority of Jesus and my husband...not the right place to go.
So I am meditating on this verse tonight and tomorrow as I re-prioritize some things in my life:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
He is right there! Saying "Come to ME!" I want to start running to Him.
Who are you running to for encouragement? Is it something that will just give temporary satisfaction or the One who will give you TRUE rest?
So, I have been working on this series of our story for like-well, forever. Ahem. But tonight I feel as though I need to go a little out of order. See, in 19 days we will be heading back to NY to celebrate Christmas with our families. The fact that I can hardly wait is an understatement!
Christmas. I have been thinking about it lately. Somewhat hard to here in Florida. Seriously, I turned on the radio the other day and "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" began to play. I looked around at the blue skies, sunshine and thought about the fact it was in the 70's and smiled. Yeah right! I love the weather in Florida BUT there is something about snow to put one in the mood for Christmas! :)
So then I have been thinking about last Christmas. What a difference this year! Last year I wasn't even engaged-yet! And this year? Married almost seven months with our little man on the way!
So how did it all happen? Well, I will tell you. So settle back for a story:
As December of 2010 approached we were still waiting for that first kiss. See, I had decided long ago that I wanted to save my first kiss for my husband and so I told Jason to not even dare to kiss me till he KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that I was to be his wife. So up until December we had not kissed or told each other "I love you" (although there was a lot of "I like you so much my love"going on lol).
This is how I told Jason in the journal I had started for my husband WAY before I knew Jason was the one:
Christmas Eve we celebrated with my family. Mom was so excited to give you your gifts. We had to share my stocking. I didn't mind at all though (even though you consumed large amounts of my candy!).
Our whole Family including our dogs :)
My sister Jen and I
Stocking Candy is a SERIOUS business ;)
Jason and I with my actually OUR candy that he ate so muchof! :)
A few days before Christmas Eve you had given me a few "half-kisses" as you called them. I had told you not to kiss me till you were absolutely 100% certain that I was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. So after those half kisses I knew you were going to propose pretty soon that that is what you kept telling me too! :) I told you that I would be content with a rubber band for a ring and a tent for a house and I meant it! :)
So on Christmas day (ok, it was like 12:05 am) in my kitchen at my house we had just read the Bible and I went to get up off the floor and you gave me my first real kiss. See, you were the only man who ever kissed me and the last! :) I saved my lips for you alone Jason Samuel. And oh-was it worth it...
So, you kissed me Christmas day 2010 and I knew for sure then that you were going to ask me to marry you very soon. You even said that night that maybe you should propose on Christmas Day instead of in Key West (where we were going to be heading on a missions trip in January) because you would be able to remember it better.
I was definitely expecting a proposal Christmas day especially when you kept saying you were going to just buy a silly band ring off Connor and Emma (or niece and nephew).
So the day stretched on. We were at your families and it was getting later and later but I hadn't gotten proposed to yet so I was trying to not be as excited. I figured you would do it some other day. Well, 6pm rolled around and I was in the living room with Meghan, Lydia and Liz and you were not there. In fact, I had not seen you in quite awhile which was kind of weird because normally we are always together.
I was sitting there wondering where you were and finally you came in and asked it I minded if we went to your brothers to watch a movie because "Emma wants us to". I was tired but said yes anyway :) So we watched a bit of a comedy DVD then-we left.
The whole way over to their house you talked about the house and the steps we needed to take to build it and the time line. You would think I would have gotten a little bit suspicious but I was (thankfully) totally and completely oblivious!
We get to their house and we walk in only to find it was totally quiet which actually I did not think anything of. I just figured they were down in the basement. Then I noticed the lighting was dim (candlelight and Christmas tree lights) but I still did not even really think about that! Well then I walked in and there you were in the dining room. "Look what someone left us," you said quite smugly and there was candles and tea and cookies. I was in shock!
So we sit down and by this time I just KNEW and so I am on the edge of my seat and you-start eating calmly! Lol :) Then you go, "Are you waiting for something"? I don't remember if I said anything or just stared at you! Either way you started clearing dishes away. Honestly the next part is kind of a blur but this is what I remember-
"I have a question to ask you," you said, and you pulled out a ring box and opened it. Nestled inside was a green (both of our favorite colors) silly band giraffe rind. "Now I am not going to be traditional and get down on one knee because I only bow my knee to our King (Jesus) but I am truly asking-will you marry me"? The words I had wanted to hear all my life.
"Well, you will have to put the ring on," I said. So you put that green silly band on my finger (which I was completely content with) when all the sudden you went: "Hmmmm, that looks like it doesn't fit very well." And you handed me the most beautiful diamond ring that looked like it was tailor made just for me.
I gasped and as you slid it on my finger you asked it that was a yes and I said "YES!!!". Then you gave me a hug, sweetly kissed me and then we prayed right there just surrendering our future to God. Then we read the Bible and just wow! It was perfect!
We went home later on to show my family and they were so excited for us! We were so excited and even though we had no idea what the Lord had in store for us-we were ready to take whatever came next together.
Truly it has been a journey and an adventure! I am so thankful though that I saved myself for Jason and that God saw fit to bring him into my life! I am truly blessed among women! So, the Christmas season is now very special to me for many reasons :) One of them being the sweet memories of 2010 :)
Ok. So as you all know we have been in the midst of remodeling our home-well for the last five-ish months! My man worked so hard yesterday and today to trasform our bathroom from this:
To this:
And then just because the mirror was there here is Elijah just saying hi to all of you lovely blog readers ;) 21 weeks and counting! :)
I am so proud of my hard working husband! He is such a blessing to me and he has just really made this house into our home :) So there it is-one more room that we have worked on and finished! :) Dining room is next (because our house is on an angle in a corner of it not even kidding)!
I am a Wife to my prince, a Mama to my son and a daughter of God. I love my Jesus and as a result of that I want to leave a completely surrendered life to Him. This is hard but...God is merciful and teaching me so many things about what He has for me in my role as a young wife and Mama!