When I think of the word "birth" I think of a process. Painful yet beautiful. Time consuming yet gone too fast.
Elijah's birth story was everything I didn't want it to be-I wanted a home birth he ended up born in the hospital after 17 hours of labor and I just missed not having a c-section after being induced.
I swore I would never in a billion years be induced again.
Micah's birth a mere 19 months later was the opposite! 8 hours. All natural, no medication birth that truly was EASY after an induced birth. Beautiful.
I swore I would never in a billion years be induced again.
Then along came Clara-she was a complete and total surprise and things did not go quite as planned from the very beginning!
At about six weeks to go I started noticing a lot of pain anytime that I went to bend over or pick anything up. We found out that Miss Clara was transverse (or growing sideways) and it was one of the most painful things I had ever felt. Or at least at that point I thought so ;)
She finally flipped with about two weeks to go to the due date! Then at 38 weeks I started experiencing prodrominal labor (basically early labor that does nothing).
Jason was in full time academy for his job and a corrections officer by this point and I ended up going to the hospital FOUR TIMES thinking it was labor! My labor team would all come meet us there, Jason came FROM academy at least two time and for what? Nothing.
Did I mention that my midwife was leaving the 14th of March for a three week motorcycle tour of New Zealand (yes she is pretty much amazing) and I was due the 11th.
I was starting to stress you all.
I was in pain constantly and I was OVER not being able to function as a wife and mom.
So, I CHOSE to get induced. I mean seriously how hard could it be? I would go it get induced, get a little bit of pain but the epidural would take care of it have Clara and be home a few days later all set and ready to go.
*Ahem*
Saturday, March 12, 2016:
Jason is at academy and today just happens to be that he is going to be pepper sprayed (and yes I knew that when we scheduled the induction but frankly at the point I didn't care). So I show up at the hospital with my amazing support team and get hooked up and ready to go!
Jason arrives from academy and since he just got pepper sprayed (which he handled very well by the way I was so proud of him) we don't touch for a bit so it can get washed off etc...
And then we waited. My sister Jen, Jason and my sister in laws Anna (my photographer) and Megan. We walked the halls. Sarah (another sister-in-law bought Jason some new sneakers. We ate chocolate. And walked the halls some more. For hours.
They kept upping the pitocin. Over and over again. I ate a sub (turkey it was delicious) and walked some more. Nothing.
By this point hours had gone by and I was not really even feeling twinges. My midwife came in about 10:30 pm and informed me that there was not going to be a baby tonight. We were going to turn off the pitocin, get some sleep and then try again in the morning and if it didnt work again-I would be going home.
Did I mention that this was our FIFTH time at the hospital? I wanted to cry. How could I FAIL a pitocin induction!? I didn't even have a clue that was possible!!!!
So I went to bed. So frustrated and unsure what the next morning held. I woke up the next morning and took a shower, took a shower and then grabbed my Bible and journal. All I remember is that my devotional was about how God's timing is perfect and I had such a peace going into the induction.
They came in and hooked me up then at about 10:30 am started the pitocin once again.
But 12 pm I was starting to feel twinges. By 1 pm I was literally unable to move the pains were coming so fast and so sharp. Imagine the sharpest, most gut wrenching pain-every thirty seconds. It was unbelievable and I remembered exactly why I had vowed to NEVER get induced again. Through it all Jason was truly my rock in every single way-rocking with me, rubbing my back and letting me hold onto him in a vice grip. Finally, I could not take it any longer and asked for an epidural. Little did I know what the next 45 minutes would entail although Jason actually looked in my eyes and said: "In 45 minutes it will be over-the pain will be gone." In my delirium I was like it had better not be that long but in all actuality it really was!
The epidural doctor came in and introduced himself (not that I really cared at this point I just wanted to be able to breath again lol) and as he went to leave the room I lifted my hand and said: "My hand feels weird..."
The I.V. line had blown. So, here I was sitting on the bed hunched over trying to breath through contractions and my poor midwife is trying to get an iv in my other hand. She gets it and then-it blew again.
I am pretty sure at this point I thought: I am going to die.
So then the anesthesiologist gets my THIRD iv in my other hand and we are good to go. At this point the pitocin has been turned off but the contractions were still beyond painful.
So I am hunched over trying to stay as still as possible. Then he started to do the epidural-it seemed to take a long time and then he goes well the first try didn't work so then he tried and second time and then...THIRD time is a charm (AHHHHHH).
Finally (after about 45 minutes of just unbelievable pain), the epidural started to take.
It. Was. Bliss.
Literally like the most perfect epidural ever. I could feel no pain yet, I could still semi move my legs. I was in a state of PAINLESS bless and Jason curled up on the couch to take a quick nap!
Then we all just waited. So excited that we were going to meet our sweet baby girl in just a few hours!
Then I felt like it was time-literally Megan (who was my doula during Micah's birth) had to leave for an event that she had and it looked like Clara was going to make it in time before she had to leave!
But, once again Clara had to have her own way and we settled down to wait just a little bit longer.
All too soon (literally moments after Megan left) I started to feel the urge to push once again!
Our precious little one had us wrapped around her finger from the start!! Totally and completely enchanted we were!
One of my absolute pictures of us-so thankful that she was FINALLY here after so much time!
So thankful for Anna and Jenny being a part of our special day! They were absolute troopers (I mean showing up to the hospital SIX times lol)!
Daddy and his sweet baby girl-yes completely wrapped around her finger and so in loved! :)
My amazing midwifes! So thankful for them and their help! :)
Megan made it back after and got to spend some special time just with us for a little bit after Jen and Anna had left. I was so glad she got to see her that night! :)
From four to five-our sweet baby girl!
And that Clara Beth is how you came into this world-NOT how we planned but in the perfect way! :) We had many surprises in store for us the next few months but that-is a post for another time!