Monday, April 16, 2012-


We wake up early to get ready to go to the hospital. I had not slept very well at all the night before because I had been having contractions.

I ate a bowl of cereal and a cheese stick.

I helped put stuff in the car.

Made sure the address was right in the GPS.

Checked and re-checked to make sure we had everything.

All the while it is this surreal feeling that today I will be having my baby boy. I will be meeting him within 24 hours. Am I ready for this?

Then the realization that even if I do not feel completely ready it does not really matter because I am going to be having him anyway :)

So we get in the car and make one last trip to Daytona. I had driven that road so many times and yet, this time, it was so different realizing that on the way home Elijah will be in that car seat in the back seat!

So we got to the hospital and got registered. I was absolutely amazed at how stunning the hospital was. Absolutely gorgeous! Definitely not like the little country hospital I was used to back home.

We finished getting registered and they took me to my room. It was all so surreal!

At around 11am they started getting things ready for the induction.

Once they got my IV in (can I just say OUCH) they started giving me fluids right away to keep me hydrated. Then they started antibiotics (I needed them every 4 hours because I had group b strep). Then they started the pitocin and the wait began.


Honestly I really do not remember all that much of those hours. Time seemed to just stand still. I had already been having contractions and was dilated and effaced so at first nothing seemed to really change. Some mild cramping and that was it.

The worst part for me was that I was starving hungry. I had not thought about the fact that in the hospital I would not necessarily be able to eat. Sigh. Not cool. The nurse gave me ice chips. I was snuck (is that even a word lol) juice and honey.

Time went on. I tried to sleep. Jason watched t.v. The girls went out to eat. They came back. My midwife came then left. As time went on I just wanted things to be still. And quiet.

Hours passed.

And then.

The pitocin kicked in.

Ouch.

I went from feeling not very much at all to:

contraction.

30 second rest.

contraction.

30 second rest.

Wave after wave of pain.

I tried to go to the bathroom but that didn't help so then I tried standing but I could not really move around that easily because of everything I was hooked up too plus I was so swollen that it was even more painful to stand for a longer amount of time.

So I sat on the edge of the bed and cried.

The nurse told me that the doctor was going to be in to break my water. I knew it was about to get way worse.

I had been so trying to avoid the epidural. I wanted to prove I was "woman enough" to handle the pain. But I knew I couldn't. So I cried. From guilt-feeling like I was not a good enough Mama because I wanted/needed the epidural. I looked at Jason and then decided I would get it. I knew that I had reached my limit.

I got the epidural.

Bliss.

I took a nap.

I woke up and talked to people and waited.

Around 1am I started to feel a lot more pressure. And then all the sudden-it was time to push!

I did not have to be put in stirrups which was a blessing my husband helped support me instead which was really neat. The room suddenly came alive with nurses and all the sudden my doctor came in. We were ready to have this baby!

Time stood still.


Jason was my rock! He was right there coaching and encouraging me. Funny thing is I just pretty much tuned everything out! All I could think of was hold my breath for 10 seconds, push, relax and repeat. They gave me oxygen to help me breath better and because (I didn't realize this at the time) Elijah's respiration's were going up and down.

I have bad lung capacity anyway so the holding my breath part was torture! Plus there was this one,  very sweet, student nurse who counted for me off and on and it seriously felt like: 1.............1 1/2................1 3/4......I WAS DYING FOR AIR! Lol :)

Contraction after contraction...for an hour and then all sudden at 2:22am when I truly felt I could do it no longer I gave one last push...






God is so amazing! No, my birth story is NOT what I wanted it to be. I wanted an all natural, at home, drug free labor. I wanted to move around as I labored. I wanted a water birth. I wanted him born on the 16th of April. I did not want to labor on my back. I did not want an episiotomy or an epidural.

Well, the Lord had other plans because every single thing I did not want to happen DID happen! And I believe it was to keep me humble. To help me realize that just because I did not get what I wanted in how I delivered Elijah did not mean that I was any less of a mom just because I got an epidural because I physically could not handle the pitocin. And now-I am thankful.

My birth story is not what I wanted it to be but it is still my birth story. In the end I was still holding my precious baby boy. And for that I am most thankful!

The neat thing is also that because Elijah's heart rate went down and his respirations were down they had to monitor him that first night and they were able to watch him closely and give him the care he needed. Then they realized that he had jaundice so they were able to give him what he needed then as well.

God worked it all out! He is so good and His ways are so much better than ours!