Do you ever just feel torn?

2:41 AM

You know those times in life when you are torn between two things. When it feels like your heart is in two places at once? When you love certain things about one place and yet you love certain other things about another?

Did I mention is is after 2am?

We have had a wonderful two weeks visiting family and friends here in NY. It has been so nice to be with people who know me completely inside and out. It is so much fun to laugh at things that we have been laughing about for years.  It has been so neat making memories.

Things like:

  • playing euchre and realizing that I am totally random at it, yet amazing people that somehow I still win alot of the time! I think the best times is when I am super tired and somewhat not there! Because seriously...I love that game :)
  • dinner with my Grandma and Grandpa Kelley. Familier food, smells, and house. They don't change and I LOVE IT.
  • Going to the church that people have known me my entire life on Christmas day. Nothing has changed there either. I played hymns with my sister Abby. Sang a song with both my sisters. Laughed while feeling my face completely flush when my Dad used me as an illustration from the pulpit. It was the same. It didn't change and I loved it.
  •  I was on the computor waiting for Jason and some friends to get done playing hearts and I started playing hearts on the computor. I was doing great! Getting all the hands and had the most points. I was telling Jason this as we were falling asleep later that night and he gently informed me the point of the game is to have the LEAST points. Ahem. Well, you know!
  • Our amazing 2011 New Years Eve Party. What a neat thing it was to start off the New Year in the Word and in prayer as a group of young adults.
  • Getting Matt and Sarah hooked on "Sue Thomas FBeye".
  • My baby shower that my family (on Jason's side) put on.
  • Having a girl day.
  • A maternity photo shoot with another friend :)
  • Playing with my nephews.
  • Getting blessed with so many baby clothes from a friend.
  • SNOW!
  • Wood stoves.
  • Christmas with my family...
Things just really have not changed here. They are familier and that, to me, is such a comfort. And yet...I am surprised at something.

I have changed.

Here are things I have to look forward to in my other home...Florida:
  • Being with people that I have really grown to love over the past sixish months.
  • Cooking for the boys that make up most of the Bible study.
  • Having my own home and really striving (in the new year under conviction from the Lord) to make that my priority and to create a haven for my husband, family and then friends.
  • Sewing on my sewing machine.
  • Setting up my little man's room :)
  • My sister Jen being there for a few months. I can hardly wait to have a girl around! Cooking, baking, learning things with her :)
  • My parents coming for two weeks. I get to see them Saturday. Somehow that makes it easier to say good bye.
  • My sister's Abby and Sarah coming in 13 short weeks for Elijah's arrival.
  • Bradley classes :)
  • Seeing my midwife again.
  • Striving to be more natural and less processed in the way I cook. Learning new recipes and creating yummy meals for my husband to enjoy.
  • Using my new bread machine (that I got at a yard sale with the booklet for $3).
  • Working on getting a newsletter going so that people can know what we do here for a ministry.
  • Changing the priorities in my life (kicking computor out of the number one spot).
  • Growing closer to my Lord and Savior.
  • Watching God provide in miraculous ways.
  • This year is the year my Elijah will be born! I can hardly wait to meet him (he just kicked me hard I think he was agreeing).
  • Watching the kids in our Bible study grow and mature in the Lord
  • Doing projects as a group and reaching out beyond ourselves to show Christ to our neighborhood.
I am torn. Because Florida is becoming my home. And yet NY will always be home. I truly am amazed how blessed I am. To have two homes. To have people that love us so very much in two states.
We feel as though the Lord has truly called us to be missionaries to...Florida. I feel bad because I just have not really blogged a lot about what we are actually doing there! I am hoping to change that and to let you all in on what we do through pictures and stories of everyday life.

 Please pray for us! Ministry is definitely hard and there is definitely spiritual warfare in Florida. Please pray for the kids/young adults we are ministering to. Please pray that Jesus will be glorified and lifted up through us as a little family. Please pray that we will continue to reach our community and that there will be revival right there! Please pray for wisdom in running the snack shop, leading two Bible studies a week, game day on Saturdays as well as the people that we run into on a daily basis. Please pray for us as a family that we would keep our priorities straight and that when people would look at us they would see Jesus Christ in and through all that we do.

So we start out this year...some times feeling torn and yet so very blessed at the same time. Later today we are leaving my first home and traveling to our second. And although it is hard to leave...I am excited to go and do the work that we truly believe God has called us to. He is so faithful! God truly is good!

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3 Thoughts

  1. Hi Katy! You have a beautiful family!

    I was wondering if you'd be interested in writing some articles for my new blog. I'm hoping to get a collection of articles about DIY homemaking (i.e. doing things yourself naturally and cheaply). Please check it out if you have time.


  2. I put up another page on the DIY Homemaker about writing for it. Just thought I'd let you know. =) I have more info about it on there than before.

  3. Katy, this post made me tear up. I've not experienced the "two" homes blessing to its fullest, yet. My best friend married and moved to Alabama, and when I stay with her and her husband's family over there (sometimes for a month!) it feels so much like home (especially the Church life, the farm, and my new little "nephew"!) that I do feel somewhat torn. However, I know it has to be so different when your new home is the location of your husband's calling! That ties heartstrings very tightly, I'm sure.

    I'm so sorry I don't comment more often - I love to check up on you as much as possible. It's so exciting to watch little Elijah grow (well - as indicated by your growing mama belly!) and to read about your new life in Florida. I know the Lord is using you two there, and I pray for y'all.

    Love you, my sweet sister in Christ!

    Soli Deo Gloria,


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